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| A student gave me this bag. It is full of sweets, but now it will take me several days to consume them all, as opposed to the 20 minutes it would have previously taken me! |
As anyone who has ever been around me for five minutes can
attest, I love food. I love eating, and also drinking certain delicious
beverages, although, let me just tell you, my decision-making faculties are not
that reliable after that third margarita! Well, recently I have gotten tired of
having to meticulously track every little thing I eat or drink on the Weight
Watchers website or on some other calorie-tracking program. I have just had it!
So, I have a new weight loss plan, and it is truly a miracle that I have been
able to free myself to adopt this plan. Now,
I simply eat whatever I want to, whenever I want to! It is truly a fabulous
weight loss plan, and I have already lost a couple of pounds following it. Let
me explain.
I always restrict what I eat, and never let myself have
certain “forbidden foods” (i.e. anything that tastes really good). As a result,
when I get around these foods I go hog wild, kind of like Elliot Spitzer with a
smart phone camera or something. I see a bag of miniature Butterfinger candy
bars and I will feel like I have to eat the whole bag, or at least eat 17
little bars. Now that I am allowing myself candy whenever I want it, I do not
feel the need to eat 576 pieces at any given time. Instead, I can usually eat
just a few and then stop, because I know I can have some again later whenever I
want it.
This past weekend, I went out to eat a couple of times. I
did not get salads, but instead ordered items that contained little “evils”
like cheese and olive oil, and you know what? I didn’t feel like I had to
consume the whole massive amount of the dish that was put on my plate. Instead,
I ate some of it, and then stopped. (I still don’t take leftovers from restaurants
home with me, because I have not gotten my at-home binge eating under control
yet.) However, I don’t want you to think it’s always simple. Sometimes I still
do badly. Like today. I brought in Utz’s Pub Mix from a party I had over the
weekend, and I picked the bagel bites out and snacked on them all morning, and
I also ate some fudge a student gave me, oh, and part of a brownie. In fact,
when it got to be lunchtime I wasn’t
even hungry for my lunch.
I did not eat my lunch because I was full, which is a huge
miracle because in the past I would have just developed a fifth stomach and
shoved my lunch on in so I could stay on schedule. So, instead of fussing at
myself, I am proud of myself for not also eating my lunch. I have decided that
losing weight is mostly about being nice to yourself and allowing yourself to
be human a lot more than it is about what you eat. Most people that have issues
with their weight have them because they are linked to emotional issues, and it
is finding the root of those emotional issues that allows the weight to come
off. I know the name of my emotional issues, and I am glad to be divorced from
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named now. Still, I have to get to the point where I
unconditionally love myself and will kick the ass of anyone who tries to treat
me badly before the weight is going to come off and stay off. I’m working on
it.
You may also be surprised to find out that the inspiration
behind this non-diet is John Travolta. I read somewhere a few years ago that he
lost weight by eating half of what he used to eat—and so I thought I’d try it
too. I know some people will not believe that this weight loss non-plan is
going to work, but I can tell you that I sure do feel better! Not having a
visceral longing for carbs sure does improve a woman’s day and her outlook! We
will see how this way of eating carries me into the New Year. For now, I am
just going to try to love myself best, and not wait for someone else to do it
for me.
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