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| Finding the right bra size seems to take magic! |
Today’s post is the second
in a multi-part series of reviews. Now, this series probably still doesn’t
require much explanation because it includes reviews of things I decide I would
like to review. From movies, to apps to food to anything else, if I think you
need to hear about it I will review it for you! Today’s review is of an
iPhone/iPod Touch app called Third Love.
Third Love is a free app designed to
measure a woman to find her perfect bra size. Now, I pray, tell me what woman
wouldn’t want to feel a little more comfortable as far as bras go? I am sure
that many of the women reading this post have experienced pinching bra bands,
sideboob, underboob, and the myriad other problems that come from wearing an
ill-fitting bra. I know I have, and I think I have probably never worn the
correct bra size in my life, which is one reason I was so excited about this
app. Now, men, I know it may seem like this post won’t hold a whole lot of
interest for you, but you may want to keep reading anyway because: 1) this post
is about boobs, essentially, and 2) you might be able to share this new app
with a family member, friend, or your significant other.
My mom is the one that
first told me about the Third Love
app. She recorded a segment from Good Morning America in which the hosts
discussed ill-fitting bras and how to measure yourself for a bra. If you have
ever tried measuring yourself to find your bra size, then you probably know
that it is not the easiest thing to do. The measurement can change depending on
where and how you hold the tape measure, and then you can end up falsely
identifying your bra band size as either the circumference of a t-rex’s torso,
or as the approximate distance around a number two pencil, neither of which is
conducive to a good fit! Also, I don’t know about you, but I am not too keen on
going to a store to get measured for my bra size by a stranger. First, if I went
somewhere like Victoria’s Secret or Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s, I would wonder if
the person working there who might measure me would actually know any more
about measuring for bra sizes than I did. After all, I worked retail in high
school and college, and I was hardly knowledgeable about some of the items I
sold. But, if I went to a higher-end underwear store, like Intimacy in Phipps
Plaza, where I would have a little more confidence in the staff’s bra-measuring
ability, then I would feel compelled to purchase a bra from them for their
trouble, and I cannot afford to buy a super-nice bra right now, but will more
likely need to go the low cost route and fashion one from coconut shells and a
jump rope.
And then there is the fact
that I don’t really want some strange person I don’t know fiddling with my
chest area. It would be embarrassing and uncomfortable, and I simply don’t
think I would enjoy the experience very much. Perhaps when the new lingerie
store staffed by highly qualified bra-measuring male models who love animals
and also have PhD’s opens up I will decide to go get measured in person, but
until then, I will have to rely on myself to find out my appropriate bra size.
Lucky for me the Third Love app is
ready to step in so that I never have to touch a measuring tape again, unless,
of course, I learn how to sew and need to measure the fabric to make that
really swank poodle skirt I’ve been thinking about.
The Good Morning America
hosts mentioned that the Third Love app
was developed to measure you for a bra based on pictures you take of yourself.
It uses some kind of 3D technology or something. The hosts also discussed the
privacy you can expect from the makers of the app, and the makers swore that no
one would ever actually look at the photos you took of yourself, and that such
photos would be stored under encryption. Good enough for me! I went to the
app’s website, and found that I had to sign up to receive an invitation to
download the app. I signed up and a couple of weeks later I got an email with
a link in it that allowed me to download Third
Love.
After downloading the app I
had to sign up with a username and password, provide the current bra size I am
wearing, and then state if I thought it was too large, too small, etc. The app
then began to show instructions. It told me to put on a supportive underwire
bra without any padding, and that I could put on a form-fitting tank top over
it if I wanted to. Because I am lazy, and because I decided to do my measuring
not long after waking up one morning, I just put on the bra without a shirt. In
my tired state, searching out a form-fitting tank top in my darkened room was
just a little too much to ask of me. The app then instructed me to stand in
front of a wall mirror in a room with good lighting. I chose my bedroom because
my closet door has mirrors on it, and I actually turned on the light too! The
app told me to remove my iPhone case, because, apparently, it wants both you
and your phone naked before it measures you.
I followed the app’s
instructions to stand facing the mirror and hold the phone
at belly button level. The app then gave minute instructions to move the phone up,
down, left, or right. It counted down and snapped the picture, and then
informed me that there was not enough light in the room and the picture hadn’t
come out. I looked at the snapshot it took, and found that, because of my white
bra, the image looked like two faceless ghosts rising from the ether and not
much else. I moved to my bathroom, because that is the only other place where I
have anything remotely resembling a wall mirror, and I know there is enough
light in there. The mirror is not exactly a wall mirror, it is the mirror on my
medicine cabinet, and it is actually divided into three parts because that is
how the medicine cabinet doors open. Plus, when I stand on the floor only my
face is visible in the mirror, so I had to drag a chair in to stand on.
The trouble was that when I
stood on the chair my bra was a little too high for the mirror, so I settled on
standing on the chair with my knees bent to make sure my bra was smack in the
middle of the mirror. One problem with this setup was that I was probably in
danger of falling off the chair, because the muscles in the fronts of my thighs
got very tired, though, on the bright side, I probably also strengthened them
quite a bit during the measuring process! As I stood there, thigh muscles
quivering, I successfully completed the photo with me facing the front, but in
that snapshot I have my face squished down into my neck, and I appear to have a
double chin, which I really don’t have in real life. Since the photo was for measuring
my bra size, though, and not for fitting me for a feedbag, and since the
company promised no one would ever see my photos, AND since the photography process was so long and laborious, I
accepted the image and moved to the side view photo.
The app instructed me to
turn to the side so that both my front and my back were visible in the mirror.
Now, I don’t know about your medicine cabinet mirror, but mine is not the
widest thing in the world, and, for one heart-stopping moment, I thought there
was no way to make both my front and my back visible in the mirror at the same
time. I figured out a way, though, and crouched in my thigh-straining position,
nearly having a heart attack because I was wearing my jeans that I just bought
in a new, smaller size, and the jeans are just a teensy bit small for now, so
not only did I appear to have a front muffin top in the side photo, but I also
appeared to have a muffin top in the back. What do you call a muffin top in the
back, anyway? A butt-fin top? Who knows? It will suffice to say that seeing
that image in my mirror was horrifying beyond belief, and the fact that the app
kept telling me to change the phone’s position made it even worse. My legs were
tired, and my poor psyche could only take so much of seeing such an
unflattering image looking back at me from the mirror. The app kept having me
move the phone all over the place to the point where it was almost turned
downward taking a photo of my toilet, which I don’t think would help find my
bra size at all! Feeling overtaxed, and with my legs about to give out, I gave
up and shut down the app.
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| The Macy's fitting room is the most promising place for me to take my bra-fitting photos. |
I would love to tell you
what happens after you get the pictures correctly taken, but I will have to
save that part for a future review. I am hopeful that the fantastically-fitting
bra I might be able to find if I successfully use the Third Love app will be worth the trouble. My preliminary advice is
for you to find a good, stable, well-lighted wall mirror in which to take your
pictures. Don’t use a mirror that has two breaks in it where the medicine
cabinet doors open, and do not, by any means, use a mirror that is so high or
low that you have to contort yourself and/or balance in precarious positions in
order to take your photos. I myself plan to take my app to the fitting room at
Macy’s, because it is always well-lighted, and to take my pictures there. The
Macy’s fitting room is pretty long with lots of doors, so if I go to the back
no one should be able to hear the app instructing me to take pictures. Once I
take the photos successfully, I will let you know about the next part. Here’s
hoping that a better-fitting bra waits somewhere in my future!
Vintage bra image courtesy of http://www.huffingtonpost.com
Fitting room image courtesy of http://justtheway-rae.blogspot.com/
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