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| My knees are about 20 years older than the rest of my body. |
So, you know how a
couple of weeks ago I wrote about how I am doing a half marathon? Well, I was
in the midst of training for the half marathon, doing my walking three days a
week and my cross training two days a week, when my knees started to hurt. I
know I have mentioned that I do not have the best knees in the world, meaning I
have the knees of an octogenarian who spent a significant portion of her life
doing squat thrusts and lunges. Whenever I have done my walks I have tried to
keep the pace at least as fast as the minimum half marathon pace I will have to
maintain if I want to finish the race before the time limit is up. However,
walking and maintaining such a pace seems to have affected my knees more
severely than when I walk more slowly, which I guess makes sense.
Allow me to tell you a
little but about my knee problems, because who doesn’t love to hear all about
other people’s infirmities and ailments? Basically, my knees have been hurting
whenever I bend them, and when I sit down and my knees are somehow bent, then I
have a hard time straightening them back out when I stand up without
experiencing pain. I have had these knees long enough to know I am overtaxing
them, and I am starting to suspect that, somehow just my knees have contracted
that disease that Robin Williams had in the movie Jack, where he aged much faster than he was supposed to. I swear my
knees must be at least 296 years old by now, and I think they will probably
fall apart at any minute.
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| I wonder if Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman have knee pain on their bucket lists? |
It has taken me a while,
but I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my days of being
able to take long walks outside on the street are probably past. My orthopedist
did tell me that I should only be walking on the treadmill and not on the
street, but I didn’t really believe him until I tried walking on the pavement
three days a week. That is one of my problems—I seem to only be able to learn
from direct experience, while warnings and admonitions seems to have no effect
on me whatsoever. In fact, it’s a wonder I have made it to the ripe old age of
35 without serious injury or a mortal wound of some kind (knock on wood).
Anyway,
all kidding aside, what I am trying to tell you is that I have decided not to
do the half marathon. I think it is the right decision because, you know, I
don’t have a strong desire to have a knee replacement anytime soon, plus, knee
pain is not on my bucket list or anything. I also feel a little bad about
deciding to pull out of the half marathon because, first, I do not like to
quit, and second, I made a big deal about how I was going to do the half
marathon, both on this blog and on my Facebook page, and some people even wrote
comments about how they were proud of me, and “way to go,” and stuff like that.
Although I understand that most people other than myself and, possibly, my mom,
are not so invested in what I do in my life that it will really matter to them
one way or another if I do the half marathon, I just thought I should tell you
rather than letting you think I was this exercising, half-marathon-training
dynamo.
So,
am I still planning to exercise? Well, the answer to that question is actually
yes. I have started a routine of doing yoga, along with some weights for my
arms, and some lower body strength training exercises, you know, so that this
time I do not look like Arnold Schwarzenegger on top and Doris Roberts on the
bottom. Plus, I am doing the P90X Ab Ripper routine at least three times a
week. I know I have a lot of stomach fat covering up my abs, but I am pretty
sure they are under there somewhere, and I think they are getting pretty toned,
so that one day, when all that fat is gone and they break through the surface,
I will look like one of those Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, or at the
very least, I won't have a huge muffin top anymore. For now I love doing the ab
exercises because, even though I know it's all just hanging out in my abdominal
area right now, doing them makes my stomach feel toned and, thus, makes it seem
less cumbersome as I go about my daily business.
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| The easy staff pose is not easy for me, but I may very well be doing it wrong! |
I
do yoga with an app called All-In Yoga, which guides me through the routines.
The downside to doing yoga with an app is that you don't have an instructor
there to tell you if you are doing the poses correctly, but I have found
several upsides to doing yoga with my iPhone instead of in a class. First, I do
not have to worry about the row of people behind me who are getting an
unfortunate view of my butt as I do the downward dog pose. Second, there is no
one there to see that whenever this pose called the "easy staff pose"
comes up, that I am not strong enough to hold my body up so instead I just lie
on my stomach, try to stick my knees up a bit, and pretend I am exerting
myself, even though I am really just taking a rest break. (You will have to
look at the picture to the right to see what the pose is supposed to look
like.) My biggest problem with my new exercise routine is that by the time I
get to the end I am doing a really half-assed job because my arms and legs are
so tired, and sometimes I stop just a teensy bit early. But, even though I am
tired from doing the yoga routine, I still go ahead and do my weight exercises
and my ab exercises.
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| If you don't keep your original body parts, then you will eventually become a cyborg. |
I
am really trying to lose at least 30 pounds by Christmas, which I know is an
ambitious goal, but I think regular exercise will certainly help me get there.
That, and not eating snacks all day while I am at work. I don't want you to
think I am only exercising for the weight loss factor; it also just makes me
feel good, and it reduces stress. If I ever have a really tough day at work
that is so stressful that I want to punch the next three random people I see in
the face, you know, to let out the frustration—well, by the time I am done
exercising, I only feel like I want to punch one random person in the
face-maybe two tops!
As
you can see, although I am not going to be doing the half marathon, I have not
given up on my fitness goals by a long shot. I am still striving to lose weight
and to use exercise as a stress reliever. Also, I must admit, training for a
half marathon was a lot of pressure, because you have to keep up with your
training or you will not be able to participate in the race, and I'm not a
high-pressure kind of gal. I am sure that, when I am fifty, I will be glad I
didn't do the half marathon, because I will hopefully still have my original
knees. And what more can we really ask out of life than to keep our original
body parts for as long as possible?
Knees image courtesy of http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/01/09/vitamin-d-doesnt-help-with-knee-pain/
Bucket List poster courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bucket_List
Easy staff pose image courtesy of http://effectiveyogaposes.blogspot.com/2012/09/chaturanga-dandasana_25.html
Cyborg image courtesy of http://www.quorrischarmyn.com/robot-killers/
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