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| Pajama Jeans are a good sex education initiative for programs that want to promote abstinence. |
So, I know it’s been awhile since I have written a new post.
I have been busy, as I am sure many of you have, with trying to keep my New
Year’s resolutions and then not keeping them, and then saying I will start
tomorrow. More on that soon. Anyway, though—today I just want to share a short,
light, whimsical story of my sadness. Yesterday at work was a day when I could
wear jeans if I also wore a hat. My school has these hats and jeans days once a
month. (It’s a character education initiative, and I won’t go into it here, but
the hats do, indeed, actually link to something educational.) Telling me I can
wear a hat to work is like telling me that all calories in all foods have been
suspended for the day and I can eat whatever I want; it is the realization of a
dream of mine.
There is not much I enjoy less than having to get up at 5:45
in the morning and fix my hair. Fixing it usually involves washing it, and
getting in the shower at a time when I am barely conscious and would rather
roll back over and continue dreaming that every furniture item in my house is
made of edible chocolate is unpleasant, at best. At worst it is harrowing and
enough to drive me to drink. So, knowing that there is one day a month when I
can just get up, throw on a hat, and then wear my comfy jeans is a lifeline
that gets me through washing my hair early in the morning most days. In my
ideal world, my every-day work wardrobe would consist of pajama pants and my
extra-large-sized t-shirt I got when I finished physical therapy for my
shoulder, you know? After all, although everyone acts like jeans are so comfortable,
we all know that pants with an elastic waist are the best things in the world!
In fact, I think they should be worn everywhere, and that designer outfits
should be based on them. Come to think of it, maybe I should just start wearing
those Pajama Jeans I have seen on TV to work on hats and jeans days. That would
be a good compromise! (Although, something tells me that the wearing of Pajama
Jeans would sound the death knell for my sense of style, and the chance that I
will ever go on a date again.)
Today the unthinkable happened: I forgot about the hats
and jeans day! In fact, I not only forgot about it, but I actually even
went the extra mile and dressed up, and even wore tights, even though I
had to wear an orthopedic boot on my left foot because I almost have a stress
fracture. I was feeling all good about myself because I had miraculously
somehow picked out my outfit the night before I wore it, and then I walked into
my school and saw several women in jeans and baseball caps, and I felt like
someone had punched me in the stomach. (In reality it was just the waistband of
my tights creating a spectacular muffin top, which I hid under a blue
sweater-top and a cardigan.)
If you ever had a chance to wear jeans to work, and you
forgot and wore a dress you got on clearance at an Old Navy end-of-season sale
that you had to put two sweaters over to make it weather appropriate, then you
feel my pain. I wanted to squat down and scream a-la John McEnroe in the
1980’s. And to top it all off, yesterday was a day I worked the after-school
program, so I was at work hanging out in my tights with my dramatic muffin top
until 6 PM. However, the suave style provided by my black orthopedic boot
served to really make my outfit memorable, and I am sure that my co-workers
will be whispering about its grandiosity for weeks to come. In fact, maybe I
could take a photo of myself wearing my orthopedic boot, and find a photo of
another woman wearing an orthopedic boot, and I could put it out in a “Who Wore
It Best?” column on my blog. I think this idea has merit!
I am now hoping we will get another jeans day sometime soon
so that I can have the opportunity to pair my orthopedic boot with jeans, and
maybe actually tuck my jeans into my boot, as that is clearly the style now. I
hope that you never experience the abject despair I experienced upon realizing
I had missed out an opportunity to both wear comfy pants and not fix my hair.
However, if you do arrive at work and discover you have missed such a
fashion opportunity, I recommend that you immediately open Google, search for
Pajama Jeans, and choose the rush delivery!
